In an interview with Parade magazine, Brad Pitt credits Angelina Jolie for bringing back all the lost joy to his penis and basically snatching him away from an existence trapped in the lifeless and frozen tandra that was Jennifer Aniston’s vagina.
Angie: Here honey, i wrote you a few bullet points for your interview.
Brad: Thanks Ang…wait a minute…but honey she’s really gonna get hurt if i say these things
Angie: You know, i saw the cuttest little mongolian outside the supermarket today..
Brad: Err, sure thing babe, but can we change the “lifeless dried up robot” to something more sensitive??
Here’s some excerpts from the interview:
‘I spent the ’90s trying to hide out, trying to duck the full celebrity cacophony.
‘I started to get sick of myself sitting on a couch, holding a joint, hiding out. It started feeling pathetic.
‘It became very clear to me that I was intent on trying to find a movie about an interesting life, but I wasn’t living an interesting life myself.”I think that my marriage had something to do with it. Trying to pretend the marriage was something that it wasn’t.
‘One of the greatest, smartest things I ever did was give my kids Angie as their mom. She is such a great mom. Oh, man, I’m so happy to have her.’
‘I put much more emphasis on being a satisfied man. I’m satisfied with making true choices and finding the woman I love, Angie, and building a family that I love so much.
‘A family is a risky venture, because the greater the love, the greater the loss. That’s the trade-off. But I’ll take it all.’