August 17th, 2011 
Locky 
French acting legend Gérard Depardieu was on an airplane with 100 other people and had to pee, but the flight attendant said he couldn’t go until after takeoff. So the French actor took matters into his own hands: He whipped out his dick and peed in the aisle. No, seriously:
“I will only confirm that he, in effect, urinated in the plane,” a spokeswoman for the Air France-KLM subsidiary said, confirming a report on Europe 1 radio, which interviewed a passenger who witnessed the incident.
According to the passenger, who was not named, the 62-year-old was visibly inebriated and tried to stand up before take-off, when passengers are asked to wear seatbelts, declaring: “I want to piss, I want to piss.”
When a stewardess asked him to sit and wait 15 minutes until the jet took off and reached cruising altitude, he said he could not wait. “And there and then he stood up and did it on the floor,” she told the French broadcaster.
“We could see he had been drinking. The stewardess was dumbfounded,” she added. “No-one said anything. It all happened with courtesy. Mr Depardieu sat back down and the plane returned to the parking area to be cleaned.”
Umm wait what, “in effect”. The rest of that conversation probably went like this:
“In effect, he urinated on the plane.”
“In effect?”
“Yes.”
“What is the effect referred to in this context?”
“The effect of urine flowing out of his penis and onto the floor.”
“Ah. That effect.”
“Effectively, yes.”
Air France partner CityJet – which operated the regional carrier Depardieu marked in the manner of a male dog – has been tweeting jokes about the incident ever since.
As you may have seen on the news, we are busy mopping the floor of one of our planes this morning…
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